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Post MDKB Main Thread
patches/mdkb.rar

FAQ:

"An error keeps popping up in Japanese (saying that the installation is bad) but pressing Yes makes it go away without issue)"

That's because your installation is bad. Most likely because you installed from improperly made dummycut version and so it doesn't have correct/valid registration data. Fix that. Don't ask how to do so here. I will not help. It's kind of like nagware DRM.


Tue Nov 06, 2012 12:41 pm
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
No.


Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:59 pm
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
Glasses Girl
「How can you do that... What could that
possible help?」

- bly

Quote:
Glasses Girl
(I came here because he said we had
something important to talk about...
Why'd it turn out like this...)

- normally it'd be "he had something important to talk about" vs "we discuss" or something, etc

Quote:
Sakura
"Please let me go... Please don't so
such horrible things."

- say


Mon Nov 19, 2012 8:05 pm
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
「When all of your preparations are finished select the Begin Battle button.」


comma after "finished"

Quote:
「Regardless of which you use for combat, mouse, gamepad, and keyboard can all be used during the ADV portions.」


two characters too long. i'd remove "the"

Quote:
「You'll need lots of Banchou Points in order to fulfill your ambitious. Try to earn a lot!」


ambitious->ambitions

Quote:
「Your time has come!! Repent what you have done!!」


Repent->Repent for

Quote:
「They're using fair competitions in order to decide what the last remaining schools that'll stay open will be.」


like 6 characters too long. gl

Quote:
「Oh yeah! I had a present for you!」


had->have

Quote:
4.) Escape poverty using support money!


add "child" before "support"

Quote:
A delivery full of fortune!!


http://i.imgur.com/F2xp1.png

Quote:
Goddes at Dusk


i assume that should be "Goddess"

Quote:
「No. We do not. You would find it easier to be blessed with chldren yourself... we think... is what we mean...」


chldren->children

Quote:
「Well, it is fine. We seem to be very compatable together.」


compatable->compatible

Quote:
「...If my family grows, I have to ask for the well-being of my new wife too.」


I have->I'll have

Quote:
show-text 0 "「You're such skeptic... Just look at us."」"
show-text 0 "「Very good. You're surprisingly intelligent."」"
show-text 0 "「We are the goddess of children. It is hardly a trifle for us to to use our power to help children be born."」"


erroneous " before the 」. in fact, just search for "」 and remove all the extra "s

Quote:
「You may chance the mouse and button configuration however you wish in the Configuration screen.」


was "Configuration Screen" before

Quote:
「You may view the details of Skills on the Status screen. Be sure you examine them whenever someone joins you.」


two characters too long

Quote:
show-text 0 " "
display-furigana 0 "Prayer " "◎"
show-text 0 " "
display-furigana 0 "to be " "◎"
show-text 0 " "
display-furigana 0 "safely" "◎"
show-text 0 " "
display-furigana 0 "delivered." "◎"


http://i.imgur.com/cOsRv.png this looks utterly ridiculous

Quote:
For your own sake, for the Godesses, and for society, make sure you fight your best.


Godesses->Goddesses

Quote:
「Pehaps they're so afraid of you that they don't want you to find them.」


Pehaps->Perhaps

Quote:
「Wahahahaha! Now it'smy complete victory!」


it'smy -> it's my

Quote:
「Kill or be killed! Victory goes to the he who strikes first!!」


-the

Quote:
「How thick are you!? By the same as me, that means that I'm a school president too.」


that means->she means

Quote:
「For my school andhome, for peace and our financial stability, please!」


andhome->and home

Quote:
She takesa big breath of air.


takesa->takes a

Quote:
The breath catches in her thoat when I gently pinch her nipples.


thoat->throat

Quote:
Every time I touch her isnides, her body jumps and her honey pours out.


isnides->insides

Quote:
「ふぅっ、ふぅうっ……なんだか、ヘン」


derp

Quote:
「Mm...mm...ah...ahh... Kiryuu... Kiss me... Kissme so much... Mmm...mm...」


Kissme->Kiss me

Quote:
Her wet flesh wraps arund me in continuous, rippling squeezing.


arund->around

Quote:
She cries out in unrestrained ecstacy.


ecstacy->ecstasy

Quote:
「I need ready myself for it too... a-all right? You know, girls...」


need->need to

Quote:
I nipple on her lip and then force her mouth open with my tongue.


nipple->nibble

Quote:
「Kiryu... I want us to be together...」


Kiryu->Kiryuu

Quote:
I begin slowly moving, savoring the feel of her body.


feel->feeling

Quote:
「Aaah! It feels weird... It feels... so weird... It feels weirds inside my stomach...」


weirds->weird

Quote:
「Aaah...aah...ah...nnh...aah...ah! I can't take anymore...」


anymore->any more

Quote:
I feel like I'm going to explode inside her any moment.


moment->moment now

Quote:
A pleasure so intense that it hurts surges through me.


i'm not entirely sure what this is supposed to be

Quote:
「I'm Onii-cha's wife, so you're my little sister!」


Onii-cha's -> Onii-chan's

Quote:
「I know it'll be a lt of fun... Um... If it's okay, I'd like you to become my wife too... I mean...」


lt->lot

Quote:
What was that? Neither energy nor her appetetite are like either of us.


appetetite->appetite

other things

multiple "towards" and a few "backwards"

would be nice to have the images in the tutorial translated, at least the bigger letters labeling the boxes

choice after clicking "Begin Combat" is untranslated

http://i.imgur.com/DrXsz.png chapter title is too long

http://i.imgur.com/YuPLK.png yep

remove \n's


Sat Nov 24, 2012 4:00 am
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
dealt with or search replaced what I care to


Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:22 pm
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
Saotome Sakura
"Manami-kun, wait for me...!"

- it sounds like "watashi, matte imasu kara" as in I'll wait for you (r answer). You know, since he just ran off without answering her.

Quote:
Manami Natsumi
"They're using fair competitions in
order to decide what the last
remaining schools that'll stay open wil"

- cut off

Quote:
Mini-Goddess
「With both impregnating lasses and in
the School Royale!

- ending quote

Quote:
Mini-Goddess
「We are the goddess of children. It is
hardly a trifle for us to to use our
power to help children be born.

- ending quote
- to to


Mon Nov 26, 2012 11:39 pm
Profile
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
"「You're breasts are soft and bouncy. They're really sexy.」"


You're->Your

Quote:
"When I try to look down her body at the place still hidden by her towel, she panicks and jumps back."


panicks->panics

Quote:
"I gently stroke it for a moment, then move over her thigh and trace myfinger along her intimate place."


myfinger->my finger

Quote:
"「Aah... Kiryuu... you feel so good…」"


…->...

Quote:
"「I an't... I'm going to come... \nHey... Please...aaaah!!」"


an't->can't

Quote:
"If you loe, then the fertilization will be unsuccessful and you will not have a child."


loe->lose

Quote:
"These battles will be easier if you deepen your relationship with the heroine or try multiple times to have a baby."


4 characters too long

Quote:
"Fertilization Battles can take place on five different maps depending on their love level"


missing . at the end

Quote:
"The difficuly changes every 25%. The easiest map is available at 100%."


difficuly->difficulty

Quote:
"If you feel that it's too hard, then raise your love level first. You can also train Kiryuu to make winning a breeze."


2 characters too long

Quote:
"「I, Hisame Sayaka, sucessor of the ancient Hisame sword arts, am the protector of Hagitsuki Academy!」"


sucessor->successor

Quote:
"「Carelssness? This battle is not yet over, you senseless man.」"


Carelssness->Carelessness

Quote:
"「If it is what you want, Kiryuu-dono, then me too... Um... I-I'm happy to...」"


to->too

Quote:
"「I didn't realize your breassts were so big.」"


breassts->breasts

Quote:
"Maybe it's because she's so sleak and toned otherwise that makes them look even bigger than they actually are."


sleak->sleek

Quote:
"She's too embarassed to say anything else. Once her panting slows, she takes small breaths again."


embarassed->embarrassed

Quote:
"I'm completely swalloed inside her."


swalloed->swallowed

Quote:
"Afte holding back for so long, all my desire surges up like a torrent."


Afte->After

Quote:
"I lean in between her thighs and lightly breath on her panties."


breath->breathe

Quote:
"「Nnh.. Y-You mustn't... Your warm tongue... My unclean place... Aaah!!」"


Nnh..->Nnh...

Quote:
"Even if as a martial artist she knows how to control her breathing, the stimulation is interrupting her concentration."


Quote:
"「I am inexperienced and do not know what may offend you... All of this is new to me... I cannot control how I feel...」"


5 characters too long

Quote:
"Every time our bodies strike together, she lets out a gasp of ectasy."


ectasy->ecstasy

Quote:
"「Aaaah! Ah! Aaaaaaahhh!! It's flowing intome...!」"


intome->into me

Quote:
"But I don't have the energy left to do anything aboutthat."


aboutthat->about that


Sat Dec 01, 2012 12:35 am
Profile
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Hmph! Worrying about that at this point? What a stuck-up. <- a stuck-up what?

That's yet to come! <- sounds kinda bad as a followup to the last line, please rewrite.

Your time has come!! Repent for what you have done!! <- change "you have" to "you've"

As a member of the student council, could I ask you on behalf of Togakushi High School for your help? <- change to "As a member of the student council, could I ask for your help on behalf of Togakushi High School?"

They're using fair competitions to decide which schools will be staying open will be. <- change "will be staying open will be." to "will stay open."

Is she the priest here's kid? But she's so weird... <- change to "Is she the priest's kid? But she's so weird..."

You may chance the mouse and button configuration however you wish in the Configuration Screen. <- "chance" should be "changed"

Our Skill is Goddess's Mischief and makes enemies bounce against each other. Our Auto Skill is Brake <- add "it" before "makes"

Your butthole's twiching t... <- "t..."?

In order to live up to her trust, I promise to myself to love her as tenderly as I can. <- remove the second "to"

I gently stroke it for a moment, then move over her thigh and trace myfinger along her intimate place. "myfinger" should be "my finger"

Fertilization Battles can take place on five different maps depending on their love level <- forgot a period

This is the second map. The strength and placement of the obstacles are different <- forgot a period

The strength of the obstacles are high and the time limit i short. It could be a difficult battle. <- "i" should be "is"

I... S-such a... shameless thing...ah...aah...mm... <- "S-such" should be "S-Such"

Afte holding back for so long, all my desire surges up like a torrent. <- "Afte" should be "After"

Seeing the dignified warriorcompletely lost in the throes of passion only makes my restrain slip further. <- "restrain" should be "restraint"

Aaaah! Ah! Aaaaaaahhh!! It's flowing intome...! <- "intome" should be "into me"

But I don't have the energy left to do anything aboutthat. <- "aboutthat." should be "about that."

I gently hug her from behind as we catch out breath. <- "out" should be "our"

(Taking girls by force is absolutely ot allowed...) <- "ot" should be "not"

...Prefer see how my PE's coming? <- add "to" after "...Prefer"

Didn't you say you resrved here for us? So there's nothing to worry about. <- "resrved" should be "reserved" I'd also reccomend changing "here" to "this place" though

Touching her voluptuous breasts and her embarrassment over it turn me off too. <- "off" should be "on" though the sentence still sounds kinda awkward, maybe rewrite it.

I kiss the back of her nick and trace up to her ear with the tip of my tongue. <- "nick" should be "neck"

I move my hips slowly to answer her, still be careful not to hurt her. <- "be" should be "being"

Forgive me... I cannot lost any long... Aaah...aah... I can't stop... <- "lost" should be "last" also "long..." should be "longer..."

Luckily, we can borrow here! <- change "here!" to "this place!"

But if you lose, you have to do whateve I say. <- "whateve" should be "whatever"

Yep! I do~! They're born from the love between they're father and mother~ <- second "they're" should be "their"

Mrrrrrr. You know like it when I lick you~? <- "know" should be "no" or "don't"

Just do like you were before and suck the tip. That feels really good. <- add "it" after "do"

And at the same time, I slie my hand down to where we're connected. <- "slie" should be "slide"

...Aah... Oni-chan, your touch is so gentle...aah... <- "Oni-chan" should be "Onii-chan"

Imari shivers every time that I thrust into her. <- remove "that"

But that part of he's adorable too. I hug her tight and drift off into sleep myself. <- "he's" should be "hers"

Well, while he's out making a commotion, we whould start getting ready. <- "whould" should be "should"

Washy, washy~ slippery slippery~~ <- capitalize the first "slippery"

She doesn't just touch where feels good, but gropes clumsily and tugs other more ticklish spots too. <- add "it" after "where"

...Ae you okay? Does it hurt? <- "...Ae" should be "...Are"

her insides begin to convulse around me as my head goes white. <- "her" should be "Her"

http://i.imgur.com/iVua8.png
http://i.imgur.com/7ZeUm.png
http://i.imgur.com/C3Art.png
http://i.imgur.com/dexmf.png
http://i.imgur.com/qWgqt.png
http://i.imgur.com/DIImZ.png <- Every screenshot up to this one is an overflow problem

http://i.imgur.com/h1iNr.png
http://i.imgur.com/qH4PU.png <- both of these have weird spacing from the second line on

http://i.imgur.com/XmQHI.png <- first sentence, "The opposite." sounds really odd as a follow up to the previous line

http://i.imgur.com/NdJ01.png <- not capitalizing the "my" looks really weird


Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:20 am
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
Dealt with things above


Tue Dec 04, 2012 8:54 pm
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
Mini-Goddess
「ヌシが望むなら、戦につての助言もして

- just cuts off

Quote:
Mini-Goddess
"You may view the details of Skills on
the Status screen. Be sure you
examine them whenever someone joins you


Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:12 pm
Profile
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Rest of the Game

My plan was foolprof... <- "foolprof..." should be "foolproof..."

I'll cary her home. <- "cary" should be "carry"

We recovered her safely (?) and bring her back to me house... <- change to "We recover her safely(?) and bring her back to my house..."

She hot flushed sigh tickles my dick. <- "She" should be "Her"

She's squeezing me even tighter between her breasts in her nervousness and embarassment. <- "embarassment" should be "embarrassment"

She arches her back and grinds against my hips, taking me semen deep into her. <- "me" should be "my"

Manami-kun, youre hot semen's... completely filling my stomach... <- "youre" should be "your"

The fear of someone catching us and the taboo of tring to make a baby at school must be turning her on. <- "tring" should be "trying"

Ahh...ahh...ah! M-Manami-un... That's... M-My nipples are... <- "M-Manami-un" should be "M-Manami-kun"

I can feel her heart pounding through my hand as I keep rubbing her. <- This is a spoken line so, uh change both "her" to "you" or rewrite the sentence since she responds to this the very next line

I-I'll me okay... If you stop, I'll... settle down quickly... <- "me" should be "be"

Aah...aah... Dn't... There's someone right outside... "Dn't..." should be "Don't..."

Aah.. He'll hear the squishing soun... It's so embarrassing... <- "soun..." should be "sound..."

Aah... Your sperm.. Manami-kun... Your filling me with your spem...ahhh... <- "sperm.." should be "sperm..." and "spem...ahhh..." should be "sperm...ahhh..."

We don't know what's going to happen up here. Be caeful, okay? <- "caeful" should be "careful"

No...aah... Don't so rough... Don't stir me...ah...nnh... <- add "be" before "so"

Is there something the matter, Urara? <- remove "there"

She clings tightly and pleasntly around me. <- "pleasntly" should be "pleasantly"

...Bos? Me? Boss... Boss, huh... It has a nice ring to ti. <- "...Bos?" should be "...Boss?"

Don't ub me... Aaah...aah... Don't... Please... No more... <- "ub" should be "rub"

No. Stop that. I'm the boss she's being waiting for. I've got to take this seriously. <- "being" should be "been"

I hold my excitement down and keep teasing her excitement. <- ...teasing her excitement...?

It's hot... stiff... aagainst my butt... Is that... your...? <- "aagainst" should be "against"

Sorry it's so sudden, Airing, but... I want us to feel good together... <- "Airing," should be "Airin,"

But compared to when we first met, she feels like she's opened up a little more. <- change the first "she" to "it"

Inisde you feels... really hot... and incredible... <- "Inisde" should be "Inside"

I didn't think I'd ever do this with her, but I sill have to do everything I can for her. <- "sill" should be "still"

Is is only natural for a man to be enchanted by us... <- "Is" should be "It"

D-Do not.. Do not pluck t our nibbles... A-Aaah! Ahhh...nk... <- "nibbles..." should be "nipples..."

I can keep an eye out up here and take care of anybody suspcious who tries to get close! <- "suspcious" should be "suspicious"

Guns lots of parts, don't they? <- add "have" after "Guns"

I'm welcome for that but... should you be pointing your gun at your boss? <- "welcome" should be "thankful/grateful"

A-A beg... got in my clothes... P-Please do something... Get it out...!! <- "beg..." should be "bug..."

Your hands are... a ltitle sweaty... Aaah... They're wet...aah...ah... <- "ltitle" should be "little"

As she writhes in pleasure and ache of the sudden insertion, she rubs her back against the fence. <- "ache" should be "aches"

Therewas no need to press on me! <- "Therewas" should be "There was"

Y-Yes... Please take cae of me... <- "cae" should be "care"

It'll beokay. There's nothing to be afraid of. <- "beokay." should be "be okay."

Whoa... Wow... Inisde you're... burning up...ngh... <- "Inisde" should be "Inside"

Hahahaha. You really are mercenary. <- ...what...

Thank you so much fo today, Onii-chan. <- "fo" should be "for"

The way you look, act, and carry yoursef is just like he was when we were kids... <- "yoursef" should be "yourself"

My eyes move down her to her intimate place. <- I know it's technically okay, but remove the first "her" to make it less awkward imo

Onii-chan...! A-Aaaah! Itfeels too good...aah... I-I can't... <- "Itfeels" should be "It feels"

Aaah! Ah...ah...ahhh...ahhh... You're suddenly so rough... You're breatking me... <- "breatking" should be "breaking"

TThe way you're thrusting feels so good! Aaah...nnnh! You're pushing so hard... stirring me... <- "TThe" should be "The"

Onii-chan... You won't peet? <- "peet?" should be "peek?"

Oni-cha...nmmmm...mm...aah... <- should be "Onii-chan...nmmmm...mm...aah..." She doesn't seem to slur it or cut it off in the voices

I reach fo her back and slowly stroke her. <- "fo" should be "for"

Aaah... D-Don't touch me lik that... It hurts.. It's hurting... <- "lik" should be "like" and "hurts.." should be "hurts..."

Aahhh... It's hot... More... Moe... Give me... more of your sperm... <- "Moe..." should be "More..."

Your baby see... filling me inside... <- "see..." should be "seed..."

When you touch me...ahhh... I get numband hot...aaah... <- "numband" should be "numb and"

Don't... I'm... Again... Mmm...mmN! Aahh... My juice is coming out... <- "Mmm...mmN!" should be "Mmm...mmn!"

And not just you, you know? Everyone else's get punished so much more! <- "else's" should be "else'll"

Mm! Aaah... Insidie... Twitching...aaahhh! Ah...ahhh... <- "Insidie..." should be "Inside..."

I choke my urge to realease down and ram myself into her. <- "realease" should be "release"

She's certainly a big gil, but her butt's not too big at all. <- "gil," should be "girl,"

You're hot and tiwtching... Going in and out...nnh...aah... <- "tiwtching..." should be "twitching..."

Let's all give a round of applause to everybody from Togakushi High School let by Manami Kiryuu! <- "let" should be "led"

I told you to call my Papa! <- "my" should be "me"

Are you okay, Tsubkai!? What'd you do to her!? <- "Tsubkai!?" should be "Tsubaki!?"

Aahhh...aah... It's comng you... Your stuff's going into me... <- not sure what "It's comng you..." was supposed to mean...

Her grinding has turner her honey into a sticky lather over my waist. <- "turner" should be "turned"

I just know she'll become a super idea, just like me. <- "idea," should be "idol,"

What are you scribbbling, Ouka? "scribbbling," should be "scribbling,"

They're already sticky with my saliva and her juices and aren't actually hiding anything anymore. <- remove the second "and"

Even though she's resisting with her mouth though, she's not trying to push me away. <- remove the second "though"

The noisy slupring seems to be what's making her the most ashamed. <- "slupring" should be "slurping"

You big, hot thing... YOu're inside me... Aaah...ahhh... < "YOu're" should be "You're"

Just wrapped up inside her makes it feel like my head's going to burst. <- add "being" after "Just"

Aah...ahhh...nnh... You're ragings...aaah... inside me... <- "ragings...aaah..." should be "raging...aaah..."

I'm fine. Just this isn't an issue. <-

She's in a mature body, with long limbs, graceful curves, and abundantly female. <- "abundantly female" what?

Did you not lose give in to your honest desires...? You rampage ferociously... <- remove "lose"

Mmn...nh... Think of this as simple a greeting... Do you not wish to savor our body yourself? <- move "a" to before "simple"

Her folds keep attacking me al over like they have a will of their own. <- "al" should be "all"

Her opened clothing just gives me slight glimpses are her curved, hourglass body underneath. It's unbearable sexy. <- change to "Her opened clothing just gives me slight glimpses at the curved, hourglass figure underneath. It's unbearable sexy."

The seeds of childred... are the source of our power more than anything else...mmnn...aaah...aaah! <- "childred..." should be "children..."

Aaaahh... We will... reach soon as well...mmmm... <- add "it" after "reach"

Maybe it's a sin, but I want to come wrapped inside of a goddess. <- add "while" after "come"

Er, I don't know if I like being said I was played with. <- change "being said" to "hearing that"

If your policy were to become known, the public would outrage would be unstoppable <- "policy" should be "practices" also remove the first "would"

You betrayer!! <- "betrayer!!" should be "traitor!!"

You're the betrayer! <- "betrayer!" should be "traitor!"

Mother's breasts belong to her child! Haamph...mm...mm... <- change "Mother's" to "A mother's"

Yep. Have a god day, Daddy. <- "god" should be "good"

Paa! <- should be "Papa!"

Words? Oh yeah... Those do kind of look lke letters... Let's see... <- "lke" should be "like"

So I came here looking for somethere that needed cleaning... <- "somethere" should be "something"

Random Errors

http://i.imgur.com/yWVnR.png
http://i.imgur.com/0RXsD.png
http://i.imgur.com/gDflM.png
http://i.imgur.com/nFcDG.png
http://i.imgur.com/Dl9Zf.png
http://i.imgur.com/R5ZmT.png
http://i.imgur.com/zIu7Q.png
http://i.imgur.com/5cbNN.png
http://i.imgur.com/2A9ps.png
http://i.imgur.com/ZjI8L.png
http://i.imgur.com/DHPww.png
http://i.imgur.com/B94Gz.png
http://i.imgur.com/vLb5B.png
http://i.imgur.com/uvrho.png
http://i.imgur.com/F3tLx.png
http://i.imgur.com/nmKdR.png
http://i.imgur.com/uJa0y.png
http://i.imgur.com/Vw210.png
http://i.imgur.com/ogP4R.png
http://i.imgur.com/LDQ0y.jpg <- everything up to here is a text overflow issue

http://i.imgur.com/R81dz.png
http://i.imgur.com/MiHIM.png
http://i.imgur.com/o1dXU.png <- all three of these are in Japanese, though the last two are also replicated in some way for each of the 11 endings, so not sure if they're split in the scripts or not.

http://i.imgur.com/WF7hG.png <- Uh... what exactly is the joke here, this doesn't make much sense in English...

http://i.imgur.com/hZmaj.png <- capitalize "created" too imo or it looks weird

http://i.imgur.com/jdLi3.png


Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:27 pm
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
New text file thingies


Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:18 am
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Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
When a child is born, they'll surround
the table just like their mothers
surround the room.

- like how their


Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:15 pm
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User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
So i forgot if I'm on the newest patch but lol here we go:

Quote:
Children can join in your battles too,
so by increasing the size of your
family, you'll have more strategic option

- s.

Quote:
If you invest Banchou Points here, your
love will grown and more relationship
events may become available.

- -n

Quote:
But it's also fascinating just touching
her. I keep rubbing her, enjoying the
uncertain bliss.

 - What does this even mean? :(

Quote:
「Y-You can... touch them yourself,
okay? Ah...mmm... Come on...」

- Pretty sure she's saying Chokusetsu etc etc so "touch them directly" right?


Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:59 pm
Profile
User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
She still looks like she's about ot
burst into tears.

- to

Quote:
Her walls still hold onto, squeezing me.

- missing word, but i'm too tired

Quote:
As I keep caressing her, she becomes
hotter with a different kind of heat
from the bath.

- This doesn't make any sense in this context

Quote:
She can't stand up on her own anymore
and moans plaintively.

- I don't understand why she'd be moaning plaintively during an hscene

Quote:
Even if you tell me
that...ahhh...ah... I can tell it
myself...

- blah blah jibun no wa ... yoku wakaranai mono sounds more like "I wouldn't know about it/that..."


Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:52 pm
Profile
User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
Tsubaki
I'm happy and...aah... so
embarrassed... and it feels soo
good... I feel so strange...

- dunno if this is on purpose

Quote:
Tsubaki
Hey... You let out a lot more this
time time...


Quote:
Goddess
We dont understand well... but it's kind
of like pa-ching?

- '


Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:30 pm
Profile
User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
Tsubaki
Aaaaaaaaaahh!!!!」

- OPENING QUOTATION THINGY BRO
- BROOO
- BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Quote:
Tsubaki poured coin after coin until the
machine until
she finally showed us
that she could win... sort of...

- into the?
- DO THEY HAVE TOUHOUS IN ARCADES? IMAGINE THAT BRO
- BROOOOOOOOOOO


Thu Feb 28, 2013 5:34 pm
Profile
User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
Even if she knows how to control her
breathing as a martial artist, the
stimulation is interrupting her concentra

- cut off

Quote:
I stretch the skin around her nub and
look at it flushed pink.

- wording

Quote:
Her entire body is slave to desire.

- consider rewording

Quote:
And a warm soft feeling fills me from
her around me
.

- consider rewording


Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:21 am
Profile
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
"I throw the blank off me and see the 'what.'"


blank->blanket

Quote:
"「I studied in a book how to become a wonderful wife」"


missing ending period

Quote:
"「Then if it feels better and better you'll spurt out that white stuff?」"


missing comma before "you'll"

Quote:
"「You're too big but, I'll try my best to make you feel good...」"


comma should be before the "but"

Quote:
"I'm managing to stop myself, but I feel like I'm come any second."


I'm come->I'll come

Quote:
"「It's a little stiff... and huts...aah... but you know... It feels good...」"


huts->hurts

Quote:
"「Onii-chan, you're getting bigger than befoe...aah...aaah!」"


befoe->before

Quote:
"「You're let it out... inside me?」"


You're->You'll

Quote:
"I kiss her on forehead."


on->on the

Quote:
"「I love you, Kiryuu-onii-chan, ~」"


i dont think that comma is supposed to be there

Quote:
"「My plan was foolprof...」"


foolprof->foolproof

Quote:
"「I came here just like you told me too. Right?」"


too->to

Quote:
"I can't control my excitement looking at her sexy body though."


add a comma before "though"

Quote:
"She hot, flushed sigh tickles my dick."


She->Her

Quote:
"I feel like I'm defiling her mouth, but that makes me even more exciting."


exciting->excited

Quote:
"My own desire is almost hurting me. My things already stiff and straining again."


things->thing's

Quote:
"「I-I'm really... et... I can't believe how wet I am... It's too much...」"


et->wet

Quote:
"「Manami-kun, youre hot semen's... completely filling my stomach...」"


youre->your

Quote:
"We look into each others eyes as our breathing starts to calm."


others->other's

Quote:
"「You are one hour, thirty eight minutes, and twenty three seconds late.」"


thirty eight->thirty-eight, twenty three->twenty-three

Quote:
"Aaaaaaaaaahh!!!!」"


missing 「

Quote:
"「That's what we said! We're counting on, Kiryuu.♪」"


on,->on you,

Quote:
"「We don't know what's going to happen up here. Be caeful, okay?」"


caeful->careful

Quote:
"「There's so much, can't you give me a little?」"


much, can't->much. Can't



http://i.imgur.com/117BvOo.jpg - weird linebreaking



fucking ero


Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:09 am
Profile
User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Fixes made up to here.

Updated some random images and added the last (??) of the script things like prompts before battle and NG+ choices.

Still don't care about the gallery images.


Tue Mar 12, 2013 5:25 pm
Profile
User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
I throw the blank off me and see the
'what.'

- et
- I thought the quotations went before the period when quoting words, and outside the period for quoted sentences?


Wed Mar 13, 2013 2:11 am
Profile
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
"She keeps rubbing her clitoris with her fingers and moaning loadly."


loadly->loudly

Quote:
"「Ah! Aaah! I can't take any more... The hay will be staied...nnnnnnhh!」"


staied->stained

Quote:
"Her body flushes hot and her soft entrance is twitch eagerly for more than just her fingers."


twitch->twitching

Quote:
"「That was intenser than I expected...」"


intenser->more intense

Quote:
"But the look in her eyes, her liquids all around her, and her smell seeping into my brain have already ignited my desire."


4 characters too long

Quote:
"She shudders as I rock back and foth against her."


foth->forth

Quote:
"「I-It's good that... I can't move... You're too rough...ah...ah...ah!」"


good->so good

Quote:
"「Ewww...nnnh... It smells like an old man. I've never seen one before but... it's too big and stinks. Nooo....」"


2 characters too long

Quote:
"「Mmm... I-I understand... If you say so, Boss... I'll work had...」"


had->hard

Quote:
"And then suddenly press mine against hers and force both back into her mouth."


then->then I

Quote:
"「A-Aaah... Your big and rubbing me... I... I... I don't know what to do...」"


Your->You're

Quote:
She must think it's awkward with him here just sitting there too. She timidly wraps her thin fingers around his swollen dick."


14 characters too long

Quote:
"She's afraid of the pain and unconsciously trying to avoid it."


and->and is

Quote:
"To convey my feelings to her, I hold he hips tight and stretch her open around me."


he->her

Quote:
"「Mmm...mmm...ahhh... Please... D-on't be... rough...aah...」"


D-on't->D-Don't

Quote:
"「N-No I'm not... That's not true...aaaaah!!」"


N-No->N-No,

Quote:
"We leave Banchou fainted in the corned of the warehouse and go home together."


corned->corner

Quote:
"I feel like I'm sinking in her entire big, soft body."


in->into

Quote:
"She twitches and twists a little big at my unfamiliar touch."


big->bit

Quote:
"Her stick liquid overflows from her bloomers and drips down onto the sheets."


stick->sticky

Quote:
"I press on it as I sink my middle finger into her. She easily accept it."


accept->accepts

Quote:
"I trace my finger just under the edge of her panties along her skin and watch he reaction."


he->her

Quote:
"「Don't.. The sound...aah...」"


..->...

Quote:
"I keep moving gingerly with her squeezing milking the rest of my semen out of me."


squeezing milking? wat?

Quote:
"「Hey, hey. Onii-chan.(」"


extra (

Quote:
"「I-I'm okay... You I'm... just a little surprised...」"


remove the "You"

Quote:
"But those feels blur into the pleasure too."


moogy would be disappointed by your use of "feels"

Quote:
"「You may have beaten me one, but it will not happen again... I will not be reckless again.」"


one->once

Quote:
"「However, to receive such humiliation from the enemy... It is humiliating.」"


i bet it is

Quote:
"「That is no problem! I was built with an utra-sophisticated database for copulating with humans! Ahaha!」"


utra->ultra

Quote:
"When I touch it, she writhe uncontrollably."


writhe->writhes

Quote:
"「ubbing hotly... Aaah...aaah...nnnh...aah... Penetrating...aah...」"


ubbing->Rubbing

Quote:
"And you gleefully [...]"


too long

Quote:
"A-Anyway, just stay there please [...]"


too long

Quote:
"Then everything's okay. I'm just here [...]"


too long

Quote:
"I'm not trying to guilt you into it [...]"


too long

Quote:
"「Why do you keep coming me 'boss'?」"


coming->calling

Quote:
"「Yep, you're an agent... You even might look kind of cool right now...」"


even might->might even

Quote:
"How many guns is she's hiding anyway..."


she's->she

Quote:
"The way that her entire body is flushng and getting sweaty is starting to take away the fun and replace it with desire."


flushng->flushing, replace->replacing. that will make it too long, though

Quote:
"「No I'm not... It's just a coincidence.」"


No->No,

Quote:
"My thin slides into her narrow body effortlessly."


thin->thing

Quote:
"「...Well as long as I do a good job cooking, everyone will eat it all!」"


Well->Well,

Quote:
"「.........It smelled good, I accidentally...」"


good->so good

Quote:
「Looks like you're safe. Thank goodness, although I wouldn't have mind seeing either...」"


mind->minded

Quote:
"「You're strong. I'm surprised how good you are.」"


how->by how

Quote:
"It's natural to blush and feel a little akward when such a pretty girl stares at you, but..."


akward->awkward

Quote:
"「Aah...mmm...mch... Your hear seems to be racing...mmm...」"


hear->heart

Quote:
"He hot sigh blows against my chest."


He->Her

Quote:
"「Your nipples have gotten stiff you know... Mmch... Stiffer than before...」"


stiff->stiff,

Quote:
"It's even intenser than anything she's done yet."


intenser->more intense

Quote:
"Urged my her words, my release quickly approaches."


my->by


http://i.imgur.com/IbzAGTa.png

http://i.imgur.com/jKo8gzc.png

http://i.imgur.com/dx1JXlv.png

http://i.imgur.com/tiuVGdL.png (and the line before it)

http://i.imgur.com/klNmC2f.png


Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:53 am
Profile
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
"I'm in charge of the original art here. First, let's break down the title. It's awesome that the name is just what you get!"


2 characters too long

Quote:
"Well, as hard as it was is was also as well as it turned out."


i have no idea what this means

Quote:
"Let this be a warning for those playing games in their 20s! Get a girlfriend when you're young! Middle-aged warning over."


3 characters too long

Quote:
"Thanks everybody for playing Minna Daisuki Kozukuri banchou."


banchou->Banchou

Quote:
"And if you can think 'I'll give tomorrow my best too! that'd be awesome!"


too!->too!'

Quote:
"Our goal's the universe, so we can't slack off after just the norther ocean!☆"


norther->northern

Quote:
"'Tarutaru City was me too. (heheheh)"


City->City'

Quote:
"Had to draw all the flehsy bits and other stuff too. Although then mosaics got put over it."


flehsy->fleshy

Quote:
"The semen leaking out was dangerous sexy sometimes, but in the end... mosaics."


dangerous->dangerously

Quote:
"「These days, everyone trusts me and expects a lot of me! I've grown up so fast!! Let me show you how cool I am at work!!」"


7 characters too long

Quote:
"I don't just feel pleasure coming from our connected. It's like I'm in a completely different world."


connected->connection

Quote:
"「Aaah... It feels good... My thought are floating away...」"


thought->thoughts

Quote:
"「.........I could become addicting to this.」"


addicting->addicted

Quote:
"「Heheh... Let us both ascend to heaven together. To deepen our connection...」"


heaven->Heaven

Quote:
"「We have a contact now. Do not forget that.」"


contact->contract

Quote:
"She probably though I was just flipping up her skirt."


though->thought

Quote:
"Her big soft butt jerks toward me. I quickly reaching out with my tongue and lick her."


reaching->reach

Quote:
"「N-Nnnh... Around my butt...aaah... M-My butthole... With the cold thing... Y-Your tongue... M-My pussy...aaah...」"


9 characters too long

Quote:
"「Because of before...aah... I think I'm.. I'm too sensitive...aaah! Ah...」"


..->...

Quote:
"「mmm...ahhh...ahhh... So much... So much came out...」"


first letter should be capitalized

Quote:
"(At least both seem like they'd be fully of nutrients...)"


fully->full

Quote:
"She brought me up to this nice, seculded place in the hills that she uses for rehabilitation sometimes."


seculded->secluded

Quote:
"「N-No... It doesn't hurt but...」"


hurt->hurt,

Quote:
"The ends of her hair was soaking in the hot water for a little while."


was->were

Quote:
"「M-Me too... Metoo... I'm the...aah...mmm... same as you...」"


Metoo->Me too

Quote:
"「It'scoming... Come... Your... Aaah... Your sperm...aaaah!!!」"


It'scoming->It's coming

Quote:
"「No, I appreciate the offer but...」"


offer->offer,

Quote:
"「Well, it's fine. He has gathered interesting humans around him. This is a good environment to test magica...」"


not sure if magica is intentional, but i assume not

Quote:
"「........Akkun said he transferred from this school」"


missing period at the end

Quote:
"I put on her entrance in a wet kiss."


i'm not even sure what's missing here

Quote:
"「Mmm... Yes... Your feel... good... Aaaahhh...」"


Your->You

Quote:
"「Aaah! Ah... You're reach so... deep into me...ahhh! Ah!」"


reach->reaching

Quote:
"Syphietta, if it's okay with you [...]"


too long

Quote:
"until all she can thin about"


thin->think

Quote:
"She clamps amazing hard around me [...]"


amazing->amazingly

Quote:
"I feel strange.."


..->...

Quote:
"She's this turned on, I can't let it end right away."


on,->on.

Quote:
"My semen keeps pouring into her mouth into it's overflowing."


into it's->until it's

Quote:
"She puts her teeth on my dick [...]"


this and the next line are too long

Quote:
"「Manami Kiryuu! This time... This time I'l bring an end to you!」"


I'l->I'll

Quote:
"(If anything, I feel like I should beating up that creepy old man, not her...)"


should->should be

Quote:
"「I want to but... But I have to go on stage...」"


remove one of the buts

Quote:
"「M-My breasts? I don't know if it'll feel good if I do though.」"


do->do,

Quote:
"「Inside me... Y-You really... want to do it here then?」"


here->here,

Quote:
"「Aahhh...aah... It's comng you... Your stuff's going into me...」"


comng->coming

Quote:
"(This is so embarassing but it feels so good... Is something wrong with me...?)"


embarassing->embarrassing,

Quote:
"「Mm... You are a persistant man... Hmph...」"


presistant->persistent

Quote:
"I roll her little pink nipple around with my tongue as she startings squeaking and gasping."


startings->starts

Quote:
"「It'll beokay. There's nothing to be afraid of.」"


beokay->be okay

Quote:
"「Whoa... Wow... Inisde you're... burning up...ngh...」"


Inisde->Inside

Quote:
"「Appparently one of us is a traitor...」"


Appparently->Apparently

Quote:
"「Waaaah! Diector, you liar! You said they were made of special material!」"


Diector->Director

Quote:
"「Transforming Accesory #1: Angelic NuBra!」"


Accesory->Accessory

Quote:
"「Are you okay, Tsubkai!? What'd you do to her!?」"


Tsubkai->Tsubaki

Quote:
"「Pretty... Nobody but my fans have evey said that to me before... My heart's racing...」"


evey->ever

Quote:
"「Ahahaha. I'm sorry for saying smething weird.♪」"


smething->something

Quote:
"「Wouldn't you prefer some intimite time with me instead?」"


intimite->intimate

Quote:
"She scowls for a second, but then gives my thing a light kiss and smiles relucantly."


relucantly->reluctantly

Quote:
"「But somehow... I could ge used to it...」"


ge->get

Quote:
" Sakura-san's Surprising Expession #1"


Quote:
" Sakura-san's Surprising Expession #2"


Expession->Expression

Quote:
"「You sound like you're havng fun.」"


havng->having

Quote:
"「It's in the cupboad in here~~!!」"


cupboad->cupboard

Quote:
"(...I'm hungy.)"


hungy->hungry

Quote:
"「Shiuz-chan, are you okay? Morning sickness isn't too bad?」"


Shiuz-chan->Shizu-chan

Quote:
"「Your hands are... a ltitle sweaty... Aaah... They're wet...aah...ah...」"


ltitle->little

Quote:
"That's an unusually girly reacton for her."


reacton->reaction

Quote:
"「Aaaah... D-Don't touch me lik that... It hurts.. It's hurting...」"


lik->like

Quote:
"I reach fo her back and slowly stroke her."


fo->for

Quote:
"She suddenly panicks at my surprise attack."


panicks->panics

Quote:
"「Aaah... M-My breasts... You're touching me... I'm sory they're not big...」"


sory->sorry

Quote:
"「When you touch me...ahhh... I get numband hot...aaah...」"


numband->numb and

Quote:
"Her warm soft body rests on top of me."


warm->warm,

Quote:
"That calm beautiful smile of hers makes my male part begin to react."


calm->calm,

Quote:
"「Aaaaaahhhh... Master, you are big, stiff... incredibly hot...」"


incredibly->and incredibly

Quote:
"My dick is on the very of explosion as I violently stir it inside her burning body."


very->very edge

Quote:
"I've been completely wrung out now and go limp almost immediately afterwards."


afterwards->afterward

Quote:
"「Thank you so much fo today, Onii-chan.」"


fo->for

Quote:
"「The way you look, act, and carry yoursef is just like he was when we were kids...」"


yoursef->yourself

Quote:
"We'e siblings hungering for each other... finally becoming one..."


We'e->We're

Quote:
"「Onii-chan...! A-Aaaah! Itfeels too good...aah... I-I can't...」"


Itfeels->It feels

Quote:
"「Aaah! Ah...ah..ahhh..ahhh... You're suddenly so rough... You're breatking me...」"


breatking->breaking

Quote:
"「TThe way you're thrusting feel so good! Aaah...nnnh! You're pushing so hard... stirring me...」"


TThe->The

Quote:
"「Your big, fat thing is gong in... Aah... My stomach's swelling...」"


gong->going

Quote:
"「If you do anymore... I-I'm going to... come...」"


anymore->any more

Quote:
"「Out of my shameful hole... Your thick sperms... pouring out...」"


sperms->sperm's

Quote:
"「I'm tying hard too, you know...? I'm trying to move to please you...」"


tying->trying

Quote:
"「Because... if it all come out... our baby will...」"


come->comes

Quote:
"Eveything else in my head goes blank. All I can think about is satisfying my endless lust for her."


Eveything->Everything

Quote:
"「Nnnh...aah...mm... Flowiing in...aaah... Filling us...」"


Flowiing->Flowing

Quote:
"Her voluptuous soft breasts bounce in front of me."


voluptuous->voluptuous,

Quote:
"「Now... As when you conceived with those lasses ... P-Pour in... your hot seed.」"


extra space after "lasses"

Quote:
"「Even though the ceremony for creating a child is so enjoyable, why have the number of children not increased..."」"


extra " at the end

Quote:
"「Meeting him completey changed my heart... Aaah!♪」"


completey->completely

Quote:
"「Eeei!! This city never meant to folow through with it from the start!」"


folow->follow

Quote:
"「No. We do not. You would find it easier to be blessed with chldren yourself... we think... is what we mean...」"


chldren->children

Quote:
"「Huh!? You can do that」"


missing ? at the end

Quote:
"「So I came here looking for somethere that needed cleaning...」"


somethere->something

Quote:
"「I've already come this far, it's too late to turn back now!"


far, it's->far. It's

Quote:
"「With my special attack 'Self Destruction,' I'll send all your enemies flying~~!」"


attack->attack,

Quote:
"「What're you doing? If you're hungry, then quit spacing out?」"


i dont think the second sentence is supposed to be a question

Quote:
"「In other worse, I have to sit in a different spot each time.」"


worse->words

http://i.imgur.com/HdxnKv4.png

http://i.imgur.com/uA5TuPy.png - class should be "Ouka's daughter"

http://i.imgur.com/oGltova.png


Sat Mar 16, 2013 1:45 am
Profile
User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Fixed stuff up to here. Except furigana stuff which is just being obnoxiously bitchy so I put in parens and it's still being pissant.

Updated


Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:45 pm
Profile
User avatar
Post Re: Whatever Thread
Quote:
Imari
I studied in a book how to become a
wonderful wife.

- consider rewording lol

Quote:
It'd be a waste to just enjoy the view
though. I intensely rub them against
her in my hands.

- I assume "them" is "hands" but there's no indication of this from previous sentences


Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:46 pm
Profile
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