TWINS:
Changing Illnet (it's in English to begin with) to Ill-net to keep it consistent with Alternative Sphere.

TWINS.
When they talk about Vanishing Ghost, they say that the 'flesh' is pulled into Ill-net. That doesn't make a whole ton of sense to me, especially with how they talk about logging out of Ill-net in the epilogues and people never waking up, so how I'm interpreting what happens is that the body's data is absorbed into Ill-net and the mind/soul loses its connection to it, so the body essentially completely shuts down. Also, generally shortening Vanishing Ghost to just Ghost/Ghosting or the like because it's way too wordy for a bunch of teens to be saying all the time.

Also TWINS.
In Hoshimi stage 5A, Maiha rambles off a random 'spell' to find hidden passages. What she says is エロエロエッサイム (Ero Ero Essaim). Ero meaning erotic or sex and essaim being French for 'satellite.' Doesn't translate well and the joke is on "ero" anyway. Just going to change it to a sci fi reference instead and tweak Tsubasa's response accordingly.

Maya's name is written as 真夜, a literal reading of which is True Night. Hence the name of her Overload Attack in the Sequel Story.

Japanese has a tendency to mix first and third person narratives quite a bit, but here it only comes up in the epilogues. It's a no-no in Miss Manners's school of good writing so it's not being kept.

In TWINS, it was predominantly third person, so they were standardized to that. In TWAIN, it's predominantly first person, so they're being standardized to that.

Just noting the difference.

TWAIN:
Rurika and Ririka call each other Ru-chan and Ri-chan respectively. Shortening that to Ru and Ri sounds awful, so I'm going with Ruri and Riri instead.

TWAIN again.

Riri (or is it Ruri?) makes a lingual-ish joke. She says ちわき肉踊る大スペクタクル！　

Ignoring the last part, it means literally "blood boiling and flesh dancing" but is better translated as "blood boiling and heart pounding" or something like that. She then groups the "chiwaki" part ("blood boiling") into one word as if it were an adjective instead and asks what kind of meat "chiwaki flesh" is. Ruri (Riri?) just gives a standard straight man response of "It's not a kind of meat."

It's not a joke that can survive translation between languages.

Mimi Auth turns a phrase, saying わたしの目が緑色のうちは、ここを通したりしないからねー。Literally "As long as my eyes are green, you won't get past etc." "While eyes are black" is a colloquial way of saying basically "While alive," but using her green eyes. It's also an indirect reference to the Auth girls in TWINS/AltS whose eyes literally shut down from their green/blue coloration when they're turned off.

Ruri (Riri?) responds by just going "I don't get it" anyway.

TWAIN
Some name stuff.

The meaning behind Mikahashi is directly touched upon in Ririka's true ending, but the way it's written means "the sword that slays gods."

Tsugomori is written as "moon of the last of the month."
Asa is written as "morning of the first of the month" (or "morning new moon" if you prefer)
Ugetsu is written as "rain-covered moon."

TWAIN again

Shizuka's magical changes are different from everybody else's. They use basically random gibberish followed by a short incantation. She uses a Shinto/Buddhist chant instead. I'd normally leave it as such, but since the difference IS important, I'm going to translate the words instead so that the distinction doesn't get lost. However, Japanese and words being what they are, translating some words there would make for an inane chant so I'm just going to replace the clumsy ones.

Also, the very first chant she can possibly use in Stage A (only one some routes) uses her own name, Shizuka, but meaning silence. No good way to keep that.

TWAIN has way too many TL Notes compared to TWINS.

Maho makes bad puns in regards to the whole canned herring/mushroom things. There's no good way to keep them so just basically handwaving over them instead.

TWAIN
G1 Asa/Shizuka
Asa makes a terrible pun with Shizuka's name (which is read as "Quiet"). Basically she says "I'll follow quietly (without argument)." I only mention it because of how terrible a pun it is. Not translatable.

Also, just for the record, towards the end of their route, Shizuka's name in the displays (and how characters refer to her) changes from katakana to kanji. It doesn't really mean anything though. *shrug*

G3 Asa/Shizuka
Asa's unnamed sister's name is a garbled mess of nothing in the original too. I'm going to change it though so it matches the garbled mess in the boss display though. For the record, it's "雫石 0?n%??$" while the graphical display is "0??n %??$"

Also, they work pretty heavily on the meaning of Asa's name (listed above) in the Tsugomori True ending but don't explicitly call attention to it. Just an FYI.